Looking from outside being an expat wife seems like an easy life since most expat wifes do not work, they have helpers in the house, drive big cars, live in big houses and much more. Honestly, I was one of these people who thought so. But after I became an expat wife, changed my mind once for all!
So I wanted to share what my thoughts are on this subject.
1- Making New Friends: This is a no easy task. And if you moved to a place like Africa, you definitely need friends around you, because life is mostly isolated due to the culture and living conditions such as safety. To make friends, you should push yourself to become social. There are expat communities in each country, the fact is every community has its own circles and they do not tend to let you in easily. So far in Kenya, there is strong tied-knit British community. So if you are British you are one of the lucky ones! There is also S. African community, which they also blend very easily with British. Of course there is huge Indian community, not only they are expats there is also great number of local Indians who own businesses here. There are also other expat groups such as Americans, French, Dutch, and little Turkish community:)
So as soon as you move in, start making friends, schools are great options, your kids friend's parents are too, look around when you shop, do not rush to go home:) Break your antisocial bubble:) you have to make friends to make your days go:) It also depends where you live, expats in Nairobi choose to live Runda, Gigiri, Karen, Kileleshwa and Spring Valley. Personally, this one was the hardest area for me, I am still working on my social skills!!
2- Finding a Job: I do not want to look pessimistic about this subject but I guess have to be honest as well. Last week I checked my sent folders, and counted how many job applications I have made. Do not want to scare you, but the figure is 67 emails have been sent to NGOs, friends, companies. Believe me, I read the requirements very well and perfectly I was qualified for these jobs. But no response, not even a thank you email!!! There are few reasons for this, first obviously economy is very bad, and local unemployment rate is sky high. Another reason is, Kenyan government is very very strict about hiring expats for jobs, lately there are even last minute show-ups from government to check people's visa status. So do not take any risk, find your job before move in here! Or make sure you have your return ticket ready by hand!
3- Keeping Your Old Friendships: I believe one of the old saying is right, once you are out of sight you are also out from your friend's life. Not sure if you get what I am trying to say here but most friendships are hard to keep once you move out of country. Somehow, people tend to keep in touch where they can see you physically or meet with you. It is really sad though, but it is what it is. Since we move around a lot, , I have lost lots of friendships...I questioned it for a long time, I even tried to keep in touch helplessly, but effort needs to be done by both sides. Good news is, there are few I still talk, exchange whatsup messages or emails on a weekly basis. So you take it as a price of being an expat family. You make new friends (not easily though), you lose friends (very easily!).
4- Being Lonely: I guess I also should add, being depressive sometimes:) But do not be scared, you get used to being lonely, that's not a bad thing, and it is when you start to get to know yourself! It is a great self figuration point. And in today's hectic life, we all forget to spend time for ourselves. This is what my experience is. I always had a busy life, worked, had kids, schools, social life, friends, movies, going out, and so on. But after we moved here, I felt like, time has stopped, and started to move in a slow motion. It was a perfect timing for me, because I was able to set my priorities, figured out what I like and dislike. So, take your time and enjoy the ride:)
5- Getting Know Around, the Local Culture: As I mentioned Africa is an isolated place, there are not many sources out there, blogs are great options also expat websites. Husbands are very busy and they travel a lot (at least my husband does!) At the end it is you who has to figure out everything. Honestly, I used trial and error! Remember now, how many times I got lost when I was driving around just to hack of figuring out different places! I was never fan of having drivers. And having my own car gave me an independence I needed. First 6 months, I was on the road driving for no reason, stopping by every point interested me! Now I have my own veggie place, Indian grocery store where my Kenyan friend, John picks the freshest fruits and veggies for me:), friendly pharmacy, a friendly run fitness studio where I take zumba classes.
Learning another culture is a pleasure and lifetime experience where it stays with you your whole life, not an easy task though, needs lots of patience and understanding. For me, every new culture is wealth and fullness to life itself.
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